Welcome to the club. We’ve evolved over millions of years to walk upright, yet one sneeze while reaching for a bagel can leave us incapacitated for a week. We are apex predators, yet defeated by soft mattresses and heavy grocery bags. It’s embarrassing, really.
But since I actually like you (and I’m tired of watching people move like rusted Victorian tin men), here are three ways to stop your spine from filing for divorce.
1. Stop Sitting Like a Gargoyle 👹
The Fix: Every 30 minutes, imagine a hook in the crown of your head pulling you upward.
The Pro-Tip: Set a timer. Ignore it at your own risk.
2. The “Psoas” Is Not a Greek Island 🏝️
Your hip flexors get tight from sitting. Because they attach to your spine, they pull your lower back forward like a leash.
The Fix: Drop into a lunge stretch. Push hips forward. Feel the tension release in the front of your hip.
Why: Lengthening these muscles reduces constant strain on your lumbar spine.
3. Breathe Like You’re Not Panicking 😤
Chest breathing stresses your neck and upper back.
The Fix: Place a hand on your belly. Inhale so your belly rises, not your shoulders.
The Magic: This stabilizes your spine from the inside out — like a built-in support system.